I Want to Wrap Rihanna in a Blanket of Security Mood: irritated Topic: Celebrity News/Thoughts
Yours truly, Ms. Kiki, has never been in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship. I have never had a man hit me or threaten to hit me even when I was a high school rough neck taunting one of my mortal boy enemies. I don’t know what it is to be a victim like that, but I do know a handful of girls/women who have been. My hearts go out to them. As I’ve become a mother to two daughters, my stomach boils with anger whenever I hear about child abuse, domestic violence, or relationship abuse on the news. I would like to believe that my husband and I will raise our girls with enough self-esteem, self-awareness, and self-defense skills to not get caught up in one of these relationships, but I can’t predict the future.
I dislike teenage boys who grab on girls’ arms, butts, or hair like it is public property or some weird form of caveman flirting. I loathe men who hit women. I hate men who rape or beat little children or women. They are beneath the dog shit on the ground. I wouldn’t spit on an abuser if he was burning in my living room, and I believe myself to be a generous and kind-hearted Christian.
Nearly two years ago at work, I got between a young man who was accosting a young woman. When I asked her if she wanted to go with that man, she said “no.” I wrapped by big plus-size body around her frail little body and proceeded to drag her away from him. He, also a skinny little punk, grabbed her bag and wouldn’t let go. I witness before God that I used all my strength to pull that girl into my building with that asshole hanging on. This whole time, no more then ten minutes, nobody tried to intervene or help. I yelled at a passerby to call the cops on his cell phone because the girl didn’t want to with this boy. Once he confirmed that, he started to dial. It was then that the boy let her go. (Punk ass.) Eventually, we got inside of my job and waited for the police. I saw that she had a busted lip and a hospital bracelet on her wrist—she was released that morning from a beating he had given her the night before.
As we waited for the police, I called a domestic violence shelter that agreed to take the women in. (She was homeless, had not family in this city, and was living with her boyfriend because she had no where else to go. The welfare agency was working with her to get her section 8 housing and vocational classes—her going to school was the cause of this most recent fight.) Long story short, a few weeks later she came back to the library looking for me. She thanked the safety officers who had helped her, and wanted to thank me. She knew she was in a bad situation, but she didn’t know how bad until someone intervened to help her.
That’s what we need people. We need more people to risk reputation or a few cuts and bruises to protect those who are getting their asses beat by weak men. If someone would ever put their hands on my daughters and I wasn’t there, I hope to God someone would try to help them.
This whole post is a reaction to the alleged beating of Rihanna by R&B singer Chris Brown. It’s been a stone laying heavily in my stomach for the past two weeks. I’ve been hearing all sorts of rumors justifying this beat down, like she gave him an STD or that she slapped him first for cheating with another girl or that they were drunk/high. PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, there is no justification ever for abusing someone you love. If you’re in an abusive relationship, get out even if that means sneaking out the window in your underwear. If you’re abusing someone, go get help.
Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
If you live with someone who abuses you or if someone is stalking you, you need to take immediate measures to protect yourself. You’re in extra danger if your abuser or stalker talks about murder or suicide. You’re also in particular danger if you are thinking about leaving an abusive relationship.
Know your abuser’s red flags. Be on alert for signs and clues that your abuser is getting upset and may explode in anger or violence. Come up with several believable reasons you can use to leave the house (both during the day and at night) if you sense trouble brewing.
Identify safe areas of the house. Know where to go if your abuser attacks or an argument starts. Avoid small, enclosed spaces without exits (such as closets or bathrooms) or rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen). If possible, head for a room with a phone and an outside door or window.
Be prepared to leave at a moment’s notice. Keep the car fueled up and facing the driveway exit, with the driver’s door unlocked. Hide a spare car key where you can get it quickly. Have emergency cash, clothing, and important phone numbers and documents stashed in a safe place (at a friend’s house, for example).
Practice escaping quickly and safely. Rehearse your escape plan so you know exactly what to do if under attack from your abuser. If you have children, have them practice the escape plan also.
Come up with a code word. Establish a word, phrase, or signal you can use to let your children, friends, neighbors, or co-workers know that you’re in danger and the police should be called.
Make and memorize a list of emergency contacts. Ask several trusted individuals if you can contact them if you need a ride, a place to stay, or help contacting the police. Memorize the numbers of your emergency contacts, local shelter, and domestic violence hotline.
Keep change and cash on you at all times. Know where the nearest public phone is located, and have change available so you can use it in an emergency situation to call for help. Also try to keep cash on hand for cab fare.
Additionally, to keep yourself safe from domestic abuse and violence you should document all abuse. If you’ve been injured, take photographs. If you have been abused in front of others, ask witnesses to write down what they saw. Finally, don’t hesitate to call the police if your abuser has hurt you or broken the law. Contact the police even if you just think your abuser might have broken a law. Assaulting you, stealing from you, and destroying your property are all crimes.
Domestic Violence Escape Kit
Money for cab fare
A change of clothes
Extra house and car keys
Birth certificates
Driver’s license or passport
Medications and copies of prescriptions
Insurance information
Checkbook
Credit cards
Legal documents such as separation agreements and protection orders
Address books
Valuable jewelry
Papers that show jointly owned assets
Conceal it in the home or leave it with a trusted neighbor, friend, or relative. Important papers can also be left in a bank deposit box.
Do not feel falsely secure with a restraining order!
You are not necessarily safe if you have a restraining order or protection order. The stalker or abuser may ignore it, and the police may do nothing to enforce it. To learn about restraining orders in your area, call 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or contact your state's Domestic Violence Coalition.
A Love Letter to the Other Great Mrs. O Mood: amorous Now Playing: February Icon of the Month: Michelle Obama
Dear Mrs. Obama,
To put it simply, I love you. You have officially become my main celebrity female icon. It used to be Queen Latifah, but you have usurped her in my book. I still love and respect the Queen, but you mean so much more to me. I know everybody is in awe and in love with your husband, President Barack, but a majority of my adoration goes to you. You're the type of woman I would like to be.
First of all, you're personality is stellar. You're strong yet approachable. You're intelligent, well-spoken, and simply fierce. Yet, you also come across as a good friend. You seem like the type of friend who would come over with a box of cookies and a six-pack of beer when your best gal-pal's man leaves her. Then, turn around, shake her by the shoulders, tell her to pull herself together because she deserves better. All women need a friend like you!
You're helping to redefine a woman's continously changing role in America. You're a protective and loving mother. You're a supportive and caring wife. Yet, you're also a successful careerist. You're showing women everywhere that they can balance both although it is difficult. I think it is especially important for women to see that they can support their men/partners in their dreams without losing their own dreams or their own strength.
I particularly liked these comments you made at Howard University recently on "HOME, WORK, COMMUNITY: THE ROLES OF AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN AS CHANGE AGENTS," because I think they really express what a lot of working mothers are going through. How refreshing it is to have someone in the White House experience what millions are experiencing?
But I'm happy to be here because this issue is something that I have dealt with my whole life, trying to figure out how to juggle work-family balance in the process of getting an education. There isn't a day that goes by, particularly after having kids, that I don't wonder or worry about whether I'm doing the right thing for myself, for my family, for my girls.
So I think this issue is particularly important for us to tackle, not just as women but men, as well, because these conversations are going to help us shape our lives in the years to come.
And the one thing -- the one message that I have is for all of you struggling with this issue, is just remember there is no right answer. It took me a long time to figure that out. There is no one right way to do any of this. And the choices and the decisions will change, given your circumstances.
I also think you're an inspirational mother. I am also a mother of two little girls, and to see you with Malia and Sasha make me warm and fuzzy. It's just a nice scene is all.
I like the way you carry yourself. Many big girls, tall girls, or curvy girls grow up trying to physically diminish themselves. They dress in baggy clothes. They slouch. They take on the affects of the proverbial wallflower. You're tall, and you walk straight and gracefully. You wear bright colors and well-fitting clothes that show off your height, curves, and athletic body. Your jewelry, while tasteful and elegant, brings attention to your face. Whether or not you find fault with your body, we will never know. But from what we can tell from the outside, you don't.
Finally, and I have to mention this because I'm a fan of fashion, you dress really well. Your outfits are stellar. You play with colors and accessories like it was your second calling. You impress with simplicity and a dash of flash. You make egalitarian sophisticated and stylish, not boring. I'm working on my own Michelle Obama-esque closet by wearing the scarves, pins, and cardigans I've collected over the years. I plan on adding colors instead of relying on my typical NYC-neutral palette.
Because you are unafraid to be you, I chose you as an icon I'd like to emulate. It is also why you're my February Icon of the Month.
Posted by Kiki Shoes
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Updated: February 16, 2009 6:48 PM EST
February 8, 2009
A Boquet of Colors Mood: a-ok Now Playing: Nail Polish Contest at Getcha Nails Did Topic: Beauty Thoughts & Reviews
Moi has learned of an awesome contest to win a set of Sinful Nails nail polish. You may not know this, but Sinful Nails is my most favorite drug store nail polish.
Check out the awesome nail polish display below from Getcha Nails Did:
Now clickHEREand enter by February 13th. I know I will.
Going to Italy Will Make You Beautiful Mood: smelly Now Playing: Pretty Face by Mary Hogan Topic: Book Reviews
When I saw the cover of the young adult novel Pretty Face by Mary Hogan at my library, I got high hopes for it.I deduced that it was about a plus-size teenage girl living in skinny-obsessed Southern California who discovers to love her body as is during a life-changing trip to Italy after quickly scanning the cover flap. My heart fluttered, because it was reminiscent of one of my favorite books, the memoir An Italian Affair which was about a woman who learns to accept her body (inside and out) while carrying on a long distance relationship with an older man she met while traveling in Italy. I snatched it off the shelf and quickly took to reading it. I held all my hope and reservations in check until I finished it.
Pretty Face is the story of Hayley, an overweight teen who is being badgered (damn near abused) by her mother to lose weight—a woman who lost weight on a Weight Watchers program and now is cooking & badgering her family with the zeal of a skinny convert. Self-conscious Hayley hides her pain of not fitting in with the pretty skinny folks of Santa Monica by binge-eating on comfort food in front seat of her car or making up for being fat by being the funny girl. Feeling she needs a change of scene, her parents send her to Italy to spend the summer with an old family friend. This is where and when the transformations begin.
Hayley is automatically seduced by the long, home-cooked meals and her diet plans fail her. The descriptions of yummy dishes will have your mouth watering. She spends her days at a slow anti-Santa Monica pace. She walks and bikes everywhere. She gardens. She reads and plays board games with her host family. She stops to literally and figuratively soak up everything the small Italian town has the offer. Instead of spending days self-loathing, Hayley begins to enjoy life. And her life becomes very sweet when she finds the gorgeous, gap-toothed Enzo—her first love and lover. Their romance is strong, quick and heady, and they fall under the spell of each other easily. Best of all, he loves her body. She’s his curvy Americana with a beautiful face, and the phrase is not used as an underhanded compliment. Hayley finally accepts and learns to love her big body.
Upon returning to California, she is immediately crushed by her mother’s size obsession as Hayley body has firmed up and slimmed down a bit from her daily walking tours and visits to ancient churches. Hayley does not revel in the compliment of being/looking smaller because she is past needing it. Then on the last page, the book takes a turn. Hayley steps on the scale and is happy about the number on it! The book tried so hard to create a journey of a protagonist who takes care of herself physically AND emotionally for the first time and accepts her body for what it is and can do, but it suddenly kills that positive message by having her equate it to the number on the scale.
With that said, I do come away from the book with less self-loathing about my weight and I’m sure several girls (and maybe boys) will as well. The love story between Hayley and Enzo was sexy without being graphic or smutty. The author also does an excellent job of transporting the reader to a different place, and making one long to take a trip to Italy ASAP. The other downside of Pretty Face is the liberal sprinkling of cultural references that dates the book, and will have readers 3 to 5 years from now running to Wikipedia to understand them all.
On a scale of 5 stars, I give Pretty Face 3 stars. (Five stars for the excellent descriptions of food.)
In It for A Penny Mood: irritated Now Playing: How to Save A Little Bit of Dough During these tough economic times, a.k.a. a gotdamn recession, we all have to tighten our belts a little. Living within our financial means and putting down the credit card can be hard when we live in such a capitalist, consumerist, and materialistic society as we do. This is not a swipe at the United States, because I love new and shiny things as much as the next 30-something woman and 3-year-old child. It is a fact of life that sometimes we need something new or want something, and some times we have to break out the credit for these things. Don’t feel too bad about carrying a debt; doesn’t the U.S. government have a $11 trillion dollar debt? We just can’t tax people to pay for it, but what we can do is pinch pennies and find new streams of revenue. In this post below, I want to share some of the things I’ve done in order to pay less and save money over the years. Maybe this will help you out. Get a library card and visit your local library often! You can borrow books, comic books/graphic novels, magazines, music CDs, sheet music, DVDs, and VHS tapes from your local public library. You can also borrow video games and software CD-ROMs depending on what your local library carries. Here’s a list of other services you may be able to get from your library for free:
Book discussion groups;
Family shows and performances;
Resume help;
Computer classes;
Story time and arts & craft for small children;
Teen, Family, or Adult movie night;
Free Wi-fi;
Air conditioning (turn yours off and visit the library to read in cool peace and quiet)
Game Clubs—video games, Scrabble, Chess, Checkers, Bridge, etc…;
Crochet and knitting circles; and
Homework help for traditional and home schooled children.
Consider buying the Entertainment Guide. If you and your family go out often to amusement parks, fast food restaurants or to the movies, this book will literally pay for itself after three outings. A friend of mine lent me hers and I was able to get several coupons for discount tickets to the movies. Also, if you’refan of coupons, you may also want to try these other things
Check the inserts of your children’s video games and DVDs, most times there are coupons for future discounts on movies, DVDs, or video games;
Coupon Clippers is a service where you chose coupons for products you use often and normally you pay $4 for each visit—service and shipping & handling aren’t free.
Websites of the products you use often, like diapers, breakfast cereal, and household cleaning products.
Join a Points Program. Pampers and Coca-Cola are just examples of companies who reward you for buying their products. If you’re a soda fiend like me, you will accumulate Coke Rewards quickly. Then you can redeem for free music downloads, magazine subscriptions, contest entries, and free soda! If you’re feeling generous, you can also donate your points to charity. Pampers redemption gifts include a free box of diapers, free portrait sittings at Sears, board books, a free box of Cheerios, and other toddler friendly products.
Join Mypoints.com. At My Points you can earn points for shopping at hundreds online stores like Target.com, OldNavy.com, QVC.com, and Sephora.com. If online shopping isn’t your thing, you can just visit websites and answer surveys that My Points send you. Your points will build up until you have enough to redeem them for gift cards to stores. If you’re impatient, you can gift cards for as low as $10 and $25. If you’re very patient, you can gift cards as high as $200! Its February now, if you’re diligent about responding to surveys and visiting websites, you’ll be able to get some gift cards in time for the holidays.
If you’re a natural outgoing person or trendsetter in your group of friends & associates, you may consider joining Bzzagent.com. At BzzAgent, you get a chance to try out free products and tell people about the products—whether your report is good or bad. For each Bzz you report, you’ll earn points that can be linked to your My Points account. I’ve gotten free meals at Boston Market; a box of candy bars; a box of power bars; coupons for free grocery products; and free make-up in the five years I’ve been a BzzAgent. (I’m still raving about the Max Factor 2000 Calorie Mascara that I got for free over six months ago.)
Dollar stores, discount stores, and chain drug stores are great places to get toys on the cheap for your small children before they get swept up in the name-brand gimmes. (This usually starts around the age they start school.) These places are also great places to get items on the cheap for arts and crafts at home—generic coloring books; markers; crayons; construction paper; drawing books; pencils; stickers; craft sticks; etc…
Chain drug stores also carry very excellent store brand/generic versions of your favorite household cleaning items and beauty products. I dare you to tell me the difference between Vaseline Intensive Care lotion with cocoa butter and Walgreen’s version.
Get frequent buyer cards, always free, from your supermarket and other stores you frequent. At my local supermarket, Foodtown, I can redeem S&H Greenpoints for household products or gift cards to the supermarket. (I’ve earned enough points to get good quality pillows, a George Foreman grill, a DVD player; and several $50 Foodtown gift cards over the years.)
Save on your dry cleaning and laundry bills by wearing your clothes more than once before you launder. Wearing dress shields, undershirts, panty shields, camisoles, slips, pantyhose, and tank tops underneath your outfits will keep them relatively stink free. Spraying them with Febreze and hanging them in the bathroom while you shower will also keep them fresh for another wearing. (I only recommend doing this in the spring, fall, and winter months.)
Entertaining small children can be expensive especially if you want to do something more than just plopping them down in front of the television.
Consider going to your local botanic gardens, children’s museums, or zoos during off hours when the rates are cheap. Sometimes, they’ll have free days.
Bring your own bags of popcorn and bottled soda/juice to the movie theater, and go during matinee times to save on exorbitant movie prices.
Revive your favorite outdoor games like jumping rope, hop scotch, playing jacks, and tag. Depending on your constitution and your child’s constitution, you can play these outdoor games all year. Your children will appreciate the time spent with their parents and being outside!
Instead of buying educational workbooks or games use your online access to download free workbook pages or to visit websites like Pbskids.org for free educational games.
Finally, use your TiVo, DVD recorder, or VCR to record your children’s favorite cartoons so you don’t have to buy it when it will inevitably be released on DVD.
Now that I’ve spilled my cheap guts to you, let me know what you’re doing to save money in your household!
Posted by Kiki Shoes
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Updated: February 1, 2009 9:05 PM EST
January 22, 2009
Thoughts on the Oscars Mood: amorous Now Playing: Oscar Nominations for 2008 Topic: Movie Reviews
Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
- NOMINATIONS BY CATEGORY - 81ST AWARDS -
Performance by an actor in a leading role
Richard Jenkins in "The Visitor" (Overture Films) --I haven't even heard of this film. Frank Langella in "Frost/Nixon" (Universal) --Hooray for Count Dracula Sean Penn in "Milk" (Focus Features) Brad Pitt in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (Paramount and Warner Bros.) --Surprised because I found Brad Pitt to be surprisingly detached Mickey Rourke in "The Wrestler" (Fox Searchlight) --I hope and pray that Mickey wins, because I love a great comeback story.
Performance by an actor in a supporting role Josh Brolin in "Milk" (Focus Features) -- He was awesome in No Country for Old Men. He plays a good anti-hero/villian, no? Robert Downey Jr. in "Tropic Thunder" (DreamWorks, Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount) Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Doubt" (Miramax) Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight" (Warner Bros.) --I had a dream witih Heath Ledger in it the other night. I simply love him as a talent. He was excellent as the Joker, but this is a tough category. Michael Shannon in "Revolutionary Road" (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage)
Performance by an actress in a leading role Anne Hathaway in "Rachel Getting Married" (Sony Pictures Classics) --I would love to see Anne win because she really is a great actress, and this movie has been getting great reviews. Plus, if she won, I'd truly forgive her for starring in that anti-feminist flick Bride Wars. Angelina Jolie in "Changeling" (Universal) -- Who would have thought that Angelina would grow up to become a serious actress. Melissa Leo in "Frozen River" (Sony Pictures Classics) -- I'd like her to win just on the strength of starring in one of my favorite television shows ever, Homicide. Meryl Streep in "Doubt" (Miramax) -- Hey, it's Meryl. Has she ever won? Kate Winslet in "The Reader" (The Weinstein Company) -- Hey, it's Kate. She should go back to being a red head.
Performance by an actress in a supporting role Amy Adams in "Doubt" (Miramax) Penélope Cruz in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" (The Weinstein Company) --She is really proving herself to be a talent, and I'd like to see this movie on the strength of Javier Bardem Viola Davis in "Doubt" (Miramax) Taraji P. Henson in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (Paramount and Warner Bros.) --I loved her in Hustle and Flow! Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler" (Fox Searchlight) -- Ever since I saw her in The Slums of Beverly Hills, I've been a fan of her acting. Also, I thought her Golden Globes outfit was wonderful and non-traditional.
Best animated feature film of the year
"Bolt" (Walt Disney) Chris Williams and Byron Howard -- I don't know if this Oscar-worthy. I just think they're trying to fill out the category.
"Kung Fu Panda" (DreamWorks Animation, Distributed by Paramount) John Stevenson and Mark Osborne
"WALL-E" (Walt Disney) Andrew Stanton -- I love WALL-E!
Achievement in film editing "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (Paramount and Warner Bros.) Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall -- Really? No, Really? If you're movie is 3 hours long, what effing editing are you doing? "The Dark Knight" (Warner Bros.) Lee Smith "Frost/Nixon" (Universal) Mike Hill and Dan Hanley "Milk" (Focus Features) Elliot Graham "Slumdog Millionaire" (Fox Searchlight) Chris Dickens
Best motion picture of the year "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (Paramount and Warner Bros.) A Kennedy/Marshall Production Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall and Ceán Chaffin, Producers
"Frost/Nixon" (Universal) A Universal Pictures, Imagine Entertainment and Working Title Production Brian Grazer, Ron Howard and Eric Fellner, Producers
"Milk" (Focus Features) A Groundswell and Jinks/Cohen Company Production Dan Jinks and Bruce Cohen, Producers
"The Reader" (The Weinstein Company) A Mirage Enterprises and Neunte Babelsberg Film GmbH Production Nominees to be determined
"Slumdog Millionaire" (Fox Searchlight) A Celador Films Production Christian Colson, Producer -- I'd love to see this movie win just on the strength of it being an outsider and not your typical Oscar fare.
Icon of the Month Mood: bright Now Playing: Rihanna Topic: Celebrity News/Thoughts
I have decided to start a new monthly feature called Icon of the Month. Originally, it was going to be titled Fashion or Style Icon of the Month but I didn’t want to limit myself to just beauty and fashion stories although a majority of the stories will probably fall into one or two of those categories. My first icon of the year is a pop singer, who I just can’t seem to escape and her name is Rihanna. And, you know what? I’m not sick of her yet. She’s ubiquitous yet just in the background enough where I have not overdosed on her, kind of like air. Air is just there all the time doing its thing.
Some Rihanna Facts:
Birth name: Robyn Rihanna Fenty
Born: February 20, 1988 (1988-02-20)(same date of birth as my youngest baby)
Besides being featured inside the pages of People, InStyle, Life & Style, and other fashion and beauty magazines for her cutting edge styles, Rihanna has appeared on at least 10 U.S. magazine covers in 2008. They have included such big-name glossies as InStyle, Elle, and Allure.
Rihanna has been setting trends with her neon-colored nails; razor cut bob, and her sexy neo-punk outfits. She’s also a spokesperson for Cover Girl cosmetics and Gucci. In short, the girl is building her brand! Oh yeah, she also makes some catchy tunes too. (Don’t front, you were singing “Umbrella… ella… ella, ella…” too.)
Posted by Kiki Shoes
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Updated: January 22, 2009 2:04 PM EST
January 18, 2009
My Make-Up Wish List Mood: on fire Topic: Beauty Thoughts & Reviews
The cold temperatures and gray skies has frozen my brain and dulled my recent book reading binge. So, I've dove head first into aspirational reading. No, not inspirational, but aspirationa! I'm up to my neck in the shiny, glossy, and (somewhat) cheap escapism of magazines. InStyle, People Stylewatch, Figure, Life & Style, Allure, Parents, Glamour (both U.S. and U.K. versions) and Sophisticate's Black Hair Styles magazines have been weighing down my purse for the past two weeks. I've flipped through those glossies, tearing out pages, clipping pictures, and earmarking stories. I've developed a wish list of new (or old but never used before) make-up and skincare products I'd like to buy. (Hopefully, I will buy some once I or if I receive a tax refund.)
So, shall we begin?
1. L'oreal H.I.P Color Presso lip gloss which is a dual chamber tube that allows the user to mix the perfect shade. I've become a real fan of lipgloss over the past five years and I've found that I now have more tubes of lipgloss than I do tubes of lipstick. Who would have ever thunk it?
2. Sula nailpolish doesn't need nail polish remover. It peels off! Imagine changing colors so quickly and easily. 2a. And since we're on the topic of easily removed nail polish, I'm also interested in tryinf out Sally Hansen Nail Art Pens. It reportedly works over any nail polish color and can be removed with water before you add the sealant. How cool is that?
4. My favorite make-up color is green. I don't know why, but I love sporting green finger nails or eyelids. Styli-Style Line & Seal 24 Twist in Emerald seems like it would be right up my alley. (I'm waiting for a set of these semi-permanent eyeliner that applies like marker that I won from BeautyBlitz.com.)
5. Nars blush in Orgasm. I really want to see what all the fuss is about in person. The same with Creme de la Mar.
6. Sonia Kashuk for Target make-up brushes because it is always recommended as the best set of brushes to own on the cheap.
Posted by Kiki Shoes
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Updated: January 18, 2009 3:58 PM EST
December 31, 2008
Reading To Your Inner Child Mood: not sure Now Playing: Children's Book Reviews from Good Reads Topic: Book Reviews Feast for 10 by Cathryn Falwell
rating: 5 of 5 stars This is a really wonderful concept book featuring an African-American family that prepares a meal starting with a trip to the grocery store. The book will introduce children to food, numbers, and a traditional family of brown faces. Perfect for read alouds, flannel board stories, and a story & craft. Some health conscious parents might object to the mother frying the chicken, but aside from that, there is nothing objectionable abou this book.
rating: 4 of 5 stars This is a clever yet subtle book about friendship and adoption. Marjorie the cow has no special skill or talent that makes her stand out, so her friends the chickens lay a cow-spotted egg for her and slip underneath her while she sleeps. Marjorie and the farm becomes world famous as the first cow to lay an egg. (This part is almost reminiscent of Wilbur in Charolette's Web.) Her envious cow-mates don't like having the spotlight taken away, so they go out to prove that Marjorie didn't lay the egg. After weeks of waiting, the egg hatches and out pops a chicken. The chicken, being held by Marjorie, looks at its new mother and says "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The chicken may not have come from inside the cow, but the cow is its Mommy.
The cut & paste and collage style of the illustrations are bright, funny, and make the farm animals surprisingly expressive.
rating: 5 of 5 stars The prolific Kevin Henkes wonderful Shhhh humorously captures life with a preschooler. First, the story starts out very quietly as a young child describes everthing and everyone who is asleep in her house. The assumption by the reader is that this youngster will also join everyone in their slumber. The assumption is wrong! The child can't stand the silence and awakens everyone by blowing a toy horn. It's a great anti-bedtime story.
rating: 4 of 5 stars This is a sweet and insightful yet hopeful book about an obese little girl who sets out to lose weight with her plus-size teacher. The cherubic cheeks and expressive eyes of little Nikki immediately draws you in, makes you want to love her like a cuddly teddy bear. But it is those same characteristics that make my throat tighten with tears as she describes eating away her pain when a classmate makes fun of her. As a plus-size woman, I feel a little Nikki's pain and understand her struggle. I want to hug her and tell her that she'll be okay, but the truth is that she does need to lose weight and eat healthier. This book says it gently and directly without preachiness.
rating: 5 of 5 stars A delightfully cute book about a little girl who gets over her fear of the dark by dancing with it. The art work is great especially the interpretation of "darkness." A wonderful book to read to toddlers and preschoolers.
rating: 3 of 5 stars My Day, Your Day by Robin Ballard is one of those wonderful books to read aloud with your toddler or preschooler who has a bit of separation anxiety. The sweet genius of the book is how the author compares daycare/preschool activities to parents' job activities. (For example, a preschool nap time is compared to a maternity ward nurse who carries a sleeping infant to waiting parents.)
This picture book is good for: 1. reading aloud 2. demonstrating non-traditional gender roles 3. easing separation anxiety in children 4. introducing daycare or preschool 5. showing multi-ethnic characters and 6. showing community workers.
Posted by Kiki Shoes
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Updated: December 31, 2008 11:56 AM EST
December 28, 2008
Try As I May, I Can't Love the Mad Men Mood: irritated Now Playing: Thoughts on AMC's Mad Men Topic: TV: The Soft Blue Glow
AMC's Mad Men is a drama set in the late 1950s or early 1960s, and it is about advertising in post-World War 2 America. There's the Cold War, Jim Crow Laws, sexism, racism, and the demonization of sex. It is a very buttoned-up United States. It is a show that causes very hard feelings in me, and it is preventing me from enjoying the show as much as I can.
Within the first three episodes, the audience is clearly shown the role of women in the men's lives. They are vessels for their penises. They are objectified. They are their nursemaids, their underlings, their whores, but not their equals. Women are the butt of open sexual harassment, and are expected to take the heavy flirting as a compliment. The women are judged as neurotic or hysterical for wanting more out of life then being tucked away in the suburbs with the children and gossip-mongers. Single women who work or are divorced or are sexually active (with contraceptive) are judged harshly. When head ad-exec Don Draper realizes the best way to market a men's deodorant is to market to women who buy these products for their men, he brainstorms with his boss about how to market to women. He doesn't know how women think, and his boss says quite pointedly "Who cares what women think?"
Racism is abound in Mad Men. African-Americans are seen as just bathroom attendants, elevator operators or the sandwich guy. There aren't racial slurs or demeaning comments made about the Blacks servants on the show, but there a few slung around about a family of Chinese people who have been hired for a practical joke. There's even some anti-Semitism.
Mad Men is not a bad show. It is a good show, and Don Draper is one of the smoothest and most complicated characters on television today. Taking the behind the scenes look at the golden age of advertising is fascinating but Mad Men is a bitter pill to swallow for me. I can't stand the era it represents, which are straight WASP men ruling the world without much thought of the others who live in it.
Play that Funky Music Mood: caffeinated Now Playing: Cadillac Records Topic: Movie Reviews
Let me clear the air in case you have the same fears that I had about Cadillac Records. Cadillac Records is not the Beyonce Knowles movie. As a matter of fact, she doesn’t show up until halfway through the film. Her performance was surprisingly good and raw. When you hear her curse up a blue-streak as the damaged blues singer Etta James, you get the feeling that the Beyonce Knowles we see in the media is a fake and this is how she really gets down behind the scenes.
CR had two things going for it that did make me want to see it. First was the incomparable and oft-under mentioned Jeffrey Wright. The second was director Darnell Martin who I liked since she had made since her first flick, I Like It Like That. Neither disappointed in this too-short biopic about Chess Records, the record company that pushed blues into the forefront of American culture and laid down the foundation for what we now call Rock-n-Roll.
Darnell neither demonizes nor canonizes the troubled musicians that make up the roster of Chess Records. She shows artists, like Muddy Waters, Little Walter, and Etta James, as musical geniuses with a whole lot of personal problems. Even better is her portrayal of Leonard Chess, one of the brothers who founded Chess records. Although he is a white man giving black artists a chance to make records, earn money and get on the radio waves, he is also shown as more than a savior. He’s a crook with a heart. The stories of the artists and their Svengali that Darnell weaves leave you wanting to know more. Each person could be the story of their very on biopic.
Each actor stands out in this movie. Mos Def proves to be a talented, charismatic, and engaging actor. Jeffrey Wright, as usual, is excellent. Beyonce shows her acting chops. Adrien Brody is solid and intense, as normal. The stand out in this film, however, is the relatively unknown Columbus Short playing the self-destructive Little Walter. When Little Walter’s seduction of his mentor Muddy Waters’ wife is rejected, you can feel it. Once he realized that he has crossed the line, the guilt, pain and frustration is written all over his face. I’d like to see him nominated for a best supporting actor Oscar.
This movie made me want to smoke a cigarette, drink a brown liquor, and f*** like only a good blues song can.
Now for the Good News Mood: lazy Now Playing: 2008, The Year In Review Part 2
Now for the Good Stuff
My Favorite Sports Moment:The ultimate underdogs, The New York Giants, beat the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLII. That victory effectively made the Patriots historic undefeated season moot. I’m a lifelong New Yorker, and I hate, HATE, HATE, New England and Boston sports teams. This pretty much set up 2008 as one of the best years of this decade.
My 2nd Favorite Political Moment:John McCain’s humble and graceful concession speech on November 4th proved to me that Senator McCain is a decent man with only America’s best interests at heart. I don’t think he is a bad guy. I always got a bit offended anytime someone said that McCain was too old to become president. McCain is about six years younger than my grandmother, and she is healthy enough and of enough sound mind to do anything. Let’s stop hating on old people.
My Favorite Beauty Websites: I stumbled across three of the best beauty blogs/websites on the web. The second runner-up is Beauty Blitz for its professional insight to beauty products and the beauty biz, and for their stellar giveaways (for which I’ve won 5). The 1st runner-up is Sparkle Shelf for its hip insight into fashion, beauty, and celebrity gossip. Best yet, Sparkle Shelf allows input from its regular followers as well as articles from their dedicated writers.
Finally, the grand prize winner of my favorite beauty website of 2008 is Blaq Vixen Beauty. In these tough economic times, BVB offers fantastic reviews and honest dialogue about drugstore brand cosmetics and skincare products. The best part is that the reviews are geared towards women of color who have the hardest time matching make-up to their varying skin tones.
My Favorite Beauty Products: Avon’s Magix and Max Factor’s 2000 Calorie Mascara. I love Avon’s Magix. This wonderful primer has kept my otherwise greasy t-zone looking semi-matte all day at work, and I don’t have to wear a moisturizer underneath it on warm days. I was able to try Max Factor’s 2000 Calorie Mascara for free when I received it from BzzAgent.com. This is, by far, the best mascara I’ve ever used. It darkens, lengthens, and separates without smearing. It covers without making your lashes feel heavy, and it is easy to remove. For $6 a pop, it is also very recession-friendly.
My Favorite Movie:Iron Man was not as good or as thought-provoking as The Dark Knight nor was it as morally ambiguous or as serious as Quantum of Solace, but it was a hell of a good time. The action was easy to follow; Robert Downey Jr. was charismatic as industrialist Tony Stark; Gwyneth Paltrow’s wardrobe was hot; and it was relevant to today’s events. Oh, let’s not forget Jeff Bridge’s great turn as the bald-headed villain. (Gotta admit, Jeff Bridges was looking very old-man sexy with that smooth dome.)
My Favorite “Don’t Call It A Comeback” Kid:R&B newbie Robin Thicke proved he was still a white boy with a lot of soul when he dropped "Magic," a Philadelphia Sound-esque mid-tempo gem. To make it better, he dropped a hot remix of Magic with the incomparable Queen of Hip-Hop Soul Mary J. Blige. (He was also a headlining act on her Love Soul tour.) Something Else, his third solo album, hit number 3 on both the Billboard’s Top 200 and Billboard’s Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums carts. The secret to his success? The sistas! "Eighty or 90 percent of my fans are African-Americans, mostly grown black women. That's who’s at my shows, who’s” buying my music, [and] who’s listening to me on the radio," Thicke admitted during a recent Washington Post interview. (And yes, this sister likes his music.)
My 1st Favorite Political Moment: Sen. Barack Obama’s smooth and cool gait as he walked out to thank the American people for electing him as the 44th president of the United States. How fucking cool was that moment?
First the Bad News Mood: lazy Now Playing: 2008 Year in Review Topic: Celebrity News/Thoughts
This past year has really been an extraordinary for entertainment, history, and beauty. The new leader of free world will be an African-American, and he was voted into office by people of all colors including white people. The recession is currently nearing Great Depression like numbers. The beauty industry unleashed oscillating mascara wands and black lip gloss. A movie based on a “funny book” broke records and has Oscar buzz surrounding it. Below, I’m going to give you a little bit of what impressed, disgusted, and thrilled me in 2008.
First the Bad News:
I was felled by the deaths of Heath Ledger (accidental overdose), Bernie Mac (illness), Paul Newman (cancer), and Isaac Hayes (stroke). Bernie and Isaac’s deaths hit me the hardest because they both happened in the same weekend, they were fairly young, and appeared healthy.
Three New York City cops are acquitted for the shooting death of Sean Bell. His death was so clearly caused by excessive force that I was shocked that the cops didn’t get any charges filed against them. My stomach burned for hours when I heard the news. I wanted to riot. I tremble with anger to even remember the verdict.
What’s up with cheating politicians? John Edwards hooks up with a woman who is not even as pretty as him, and while his wife is dying of cancer. Imagine if he had gotten the Democratic presidential nod and that infidelity was revealed?
California, which I imagined to be the most liberal state in the Union before New York, passed Proposition 8 which bans same-sex marriages. For shame, California, for shame.
Nor Rain, Nor Wind, Nor Crying Baby, Nor Mixed Rewiews Stopped Me Mood: lazy Now Playing: Review: Australia Topic: Movie Reviews
I saw five movies in the movie theaters this year, which is something I haven't done since becoming a mother nearly four years ago. I saw Australia, Quantum of Solace, The Dark Knight (twice), and IronMan. All four movies I saw during their opening weekends, and I enjoyed them all immensely for various reasons. But none satisfied my mushy, slushy, overripe, dramatic, romantic core like Australia. It satisfied all my expectations of sexy stares, double entendres, mean scoundrels, naked kissing, pretty clothes, and a sweaty, dirty, muscular Hugh Jackman.*swoon, swoon* I give Australia two quivering lips up!
In order to be fair, I must lay out my criticisms plainly. As of all movies of late, Australia was at least 15 minutes too long although I didn't get the feeling of it dragging in any part. The orchestral scores were too loud and dictatorial. It forced the audience's emotional reactions instead of letting the acting/writing/scene lead the audience to the desired reaction. The admiration of the Aboriginals was raised to almost a near-condescending level. (Perhaps it was Baz Lurhmann's trying to alleviate his version of white guilt. If this was an American-made movie about the love affair between two white people living in the Jim Crowsouth and who were enraged by their peers' racism and admired the Negroes quiet yet proud way of life, as a Black woman I probably would have found Australia offensive.) The critics were right with their middle-of-the-road reviews. Cinematically, it wasn't bad but it wasn't that good either.
With all that said, I wasn't disappointed by Australia. It wasn't as frenetic or eye-straining as Moulin Rouge or William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet. Nicole Kidman's acting was pleasant as the Lady Sarah Ashley playing her both straight and with tongue firmly in cheek.(I've never found Nicole Kidman as pretty as she was by the end of this movie when she was lightly tanned and freckled with pink chapped lips and tousled hair.) Hugh Jackman yet again proved that he can be both a guy's guy and a girl's guy playing the rough-hewn Drover-a man who can control females of both the horse and human variety while drinking cheap rum from the bottle and with a hand-rolled cigarette dangling from his lip. The entire cast was a delight especially the young Brandon Walters who played the mystical bi-racial Aborigine boy at the center of most of the movie's non-romantic action.
The big scenes of the movie, a cattle stampede and the bombing of the Australian city Darwin, was worth the price of admission. It made my heart race and gasp with anticipation even when I knew the outcomes. (I will not reveal them here because I'm no spoiler.) There was one scene I really did enjoy, but only because of the audience's reaction. The Drover, who is an outcast because he was married to an Aboriginal woman and still lives among them, sets high society's tongues a wagging when he arrives at a ball to claim his lady. As the camera pans up to reveal the lean, well-dressed, clean shaven handsomeness of Hugh Jackman, there are audible contented sighs (from the ladies in the theater) and groans (from the men in the theater). But the sighs were louder, and that pretty much sums up Australia.
Posted by Kiki Shoes
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Updated: November 30, 2008 10:32 PM EST
November 26, 2008
Slightly Dampened Spirits Mood: hungry Now Playing: My Pre-Viewing Feelings of Australia Topic: Movie Reviews
Today, the movie Australia was released in the United States to fair-to-middling reviews. I've been looking forward to seeing this movie for three months, and the reveiws are not going to dampen my desire but I do have some mixed feelings that have been exacerbated by the reviews.
I have not seen the movie Strictly Ballroom. I did see William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet (WS R+J), and it is one my favorite movies. The unique cinematography and locations put a fresh spin on the star-crossed lovers' story. Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Dane's chemistry was absolutely palpable.
Unfortunately it did take me several years and several attempts to view Moulin Rouge in its entirety. The movie was packed so tightly with strange little characters, colors, music, set design, and quick cuts that I simultaneously got a migraine and had a seizure every time I tried to watch it. Broken over several months, I did watch bits and pieces of the film until I was able to piece together the whole flick. I suppose it was good, but I'm not sure it was worth all the hoopla. I found Ewan McGregor dreamy and Nicole Kidman very pretty. (She has a type of a detachedness that makes her pretty but not necessarily sexy. Sexy is something you can touch, and Nicole comes across as a china doll you just want to admire from afar. Because of this, I couldn't really buy her as a courtesan.)
All the above mentioned movies were directed by Baz Lurhman, and he directed Australia. Because of my mixed-reactions to his previous projects, I'm not sure what to expect with Australia. Will I melt from sensory overload or will I leave the theater with my heart racing and feeling satisfied?
The Pluses:
1. I've been looking for a sweeping romance book or movie like The English Patient for months .
2. I did like WS R+J a whole lot.
3. I normally don't see (or not see) a movie based on the critics.
4. I LOVE HUGH JACKMAN (People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive, thank you very much, about time People), and I love him when he's sexy, scruffy and wet which Australia promises to deliver several times over the course of 2+ hours.
5. I've been looking forward to seeing Hugh on the big screen for over two years now, since a complicated pregnancy forced me to miss The Prestige, The Fountain, and Scoop in the theatres.
The Minuses:
1. Moulin Rouge was too frenetic and long for me to enjoy.
2. I normally don't like movies longer than 2 hours especially when they're not stellar. (Munich, The Godfather, and The Color Purple were all over two hours long and super stellar.)
3. There have been no shining reviews, just a handful of "okays."
4. Nicole Kidman is one of the most overrated beauties and talents in Hollywood. Her botox'd features, pin straight blonde hair, and ultra slim body make it hard for me to relate to her female characters. I miss the curvy, firey curled, and expressive Kidman from her To Die For days.
5. I generally don't like movies billed as epics.
I hope to have a review of Australia for you by the end of Thanksgiving weekend. Wish me luck and good time. I hope I'm not disappointed.
Posted by Kiki Shoes
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Updated: November 30, 2008 10:33 PM EST