Mood:  mischievious

Within the past two weeks, I got a full size cKone perfume and body lotion set; a 2 ounce bottle of Chole perfume; and an eco-friendly skincare line including a full size jar of eye cream/moisturizer, lip balm, and face reviver. I love coming home and opening packages to find free free and usable items for me. The downside was that I don't remember entering contests for any of those products. I vaguely remember a contest for the eco-friendly skincare line, but I couldn't tell you from which blog, magazine, or prodcut site I entered. I am a fashion and beauty contest addict. I only keep entering, several times a day, because I ocassionally win. One of the first things I do when I get on the computer at work each day is go to BeautyBlitz.com and enter their daily giveaway. I'm starting to feel a bit guilty with my giveaway successes.

Oh well, guilt or no guilt, here's a link to a new giveaway I'm entering. You should give it a try!

I don't know if I've mentioned it to you before, but Moi is one hairy woman. There is not one area of my body that doesn't have excess hair. I'm always looking for ways to remove hair from my legs, bikini line, chin, jaw, neck, eyebrows, arm pits, and toes. (EWWW, yes toes.) Mostly, I get anything on my face waxed and use a safety razor & electric clippers for everything else. It is time consuming especially when you're planning to hang out on the beach. (Normally, I only shave my legs up to the knees.) By some luck of the cheapie gods, I found Sally Hansen's spray on/shower off hair remover on sale 50% off at Walgreens. I had seen ads for it last year, but since I don't like to spend money, I resisted trying it.

The product promises to be remove hair and stubble after 3-minutes; to have be drip free; and smell like vanilla. It also to spray on at any angle. It lived up to its promise except for smelling like vanilla. It smelled like eye-burning chemicals and my bathroom stank of it even after I rinsed off the product. I sprayed my entire legs from hip to ankle, and waited the minimum three minutes. (My hair is naturally coarse, and I usually wait the maximum amount of time for chemical hair removers but I did only 3 minutes because I didn't do a spot test for an allergic reaction.) 

Aside from the smell, the product did work. It rinsed off easily without my rubbing it off with a washcloth and it removed 90% of my leg hair. It probably would have been more if I had left it on for another minute or two. I plan on using it on my armpits as well, because I look to have the smooth pits. It's my thang. I will probably buy this product again in the future even when it isn't on sale.

Mood:  on fire

FUCK!!!!

Why is it that every time I write a long post where I bring you up to speed, I aways accidently close the fucking window before I save it? Fuck. I'm so angry. I"ve been working on this post for an hour. I had video game reviews, nail polish views, blog mentions, book reviews, and dvd reviews. It was written so eloquently too. Shit.

Well, here is quick and dirty:

1. Star Trek: Want to see still haven't seen.

2. Terminator:Salvation: Want to see but will wait until video.

3. Wii and Wii Fit: Love it, use it 3 times a week! It's a video game system for women and girls who hate video games.

4. The Secret Life of Bees was hokey and a bit shallow.

5. Taken was over the top fun.

6. Lessons from the Fat-O-Sphere is a kick-ass book that will get your fat activisim and self-love into gear. 

7. Who You Calling Fat? The First Fat Fiction Anthology includes gems and clunkers. Borrow from your library.

8. I'm eschewing the matte pastel nail polish trend of summer and sticking with dark and shiny colors like Sally Hansen's Xtreme nail color in Gun Metal and Emerald City.

9. I've become a nail polish and mani-pedi fiend by subscribingn to such fun blogs like Getcha Nails Did on blogspot.

10. I'm really starting to hate Tripod. 

Mood:  not sure

There are probably very few comic book heroes that evoke such a fanatic following and worship as Wolverine a.k.a. Weapon X a.k.a. Logan. In the Marvel Pantheon, he must rank in at least the top 3. Wolverine existed for nearly 25+ years in the comic book world before they even delved deeply into his origins. So, you can imagine the problems that 20^th Century Fox and Hugh Jackman must have had in bringing such a legendary character to the screen. X-Men Origins: Wolverine is going to be a polarizing film to the most hardcore fans to the passer bys.

Since joining the X-men franchise nearly ten years ago, Hugh Jackman has done justice to the Canadian-born, cigar chomping, enigmatic anti-hero.  Jackman and Liev Schreiber do a good job of bringing some emotional depth to the mutant brothers Jimmy and Victor (Jackman and Schreiber respectively), who grow-up to become Wolverine and Sabretooth. Most superhero movies are not successful in bringing 30, 40 or 50 years of characterization to the screen without weighing down the action that the movie going audiences want to see. Spider-Man 1 and 2 and Batman Begins is a perfect example of how to create that balance. Superman Returns is an example of how not to do it. X-men Origins: Wolverine errs on the side of conventionality, and gives you a straight story without plowing too deeply into souls of Wolverine and Sabretooth. They give you just enough to set up the action.

Aside from Jackman and Schreiber, the acting is a little stilted especially from Black Eyed Peas rapper Will.I.Am as a teleporting mutant. (Ryan Reynolds is perfect as the sarcastic, buff and crazy mutant swordsman.) Luckily, Schreiber is the one who gets to deliver the best lines and sneers. Unlike most summer blockbusters, this flick doesn’t weigh itself down too heavily in CGI, car crashes, and aerial dynamics.  Most of the action is the hand to hand (or is it claw to claw?), and it is easy to follow. Most action movies nowadays have a blinding number of action sequences that are harder to follow than the spin-offs of Marvel X-men comics.

I give X-men Origins: Wolverine a B-, bub.

Mood:  happy

During my freshmen year of college, I had a part-time job where I made $70 every two weeks. I’d buy two weeks of tokens for $20; $5 lunch for the day; a cassette tape or casi-single from Tower Records ($8) or a mix-tape from the street ($5); and a pair of shoes on sale from Fayva—my cheap shoe haven until Payless Shoe Source started popping up. (Sometimes I went to some of the junior chain stores like Rainbow Shops, Strawberry, and Joyce Leslie.) Some of the shoes were cute. Some of them were functional. Some of them hurt my feet. Didn’t matter, because I had new shoes.

As I got older and started making more money, I continued to buy shoes. They were a little more fashionable; a little more expensive; and a little more comfortable. When my self-esteem was low and my weight was up, I could always buy a new pair of shoes. Shoes always fit. Shoes never made me look or feel fat. Some women color their hair, and others buy lipstick. My picker-upper is shoes.

My love affair with shoes is 20-years strong and a source of comic fodder for my family. My grandmother calls me Imelda Marcos. My husband laughs at my desire to have a $1 million shopping spree at DSW (Designer Shoe Warehouse). But, my girls love my shoes. They love to play with them, wear them during dress up, and sometimes chose shoes for me to wear. My favorite thing is when I buy a new pair of shoes (or boots), and my oldest daughter sees them for the first time. She will squeal with delight, the only way a 4-year-old can, and say “Mommy, they’re boooooty-full.” (She will say that even if it is a simple pair of thongs.)

Recently, I answered a poll question on blog about how many shoes did I own. I counted in my head, sure that I was accurate, and came up with 50-pairs of shoes. Then early this week, the rod in my closet broke and I had to clean up and reorganize my closet. I found 3 more pairs of shoes that I had forgotten I had. This morning, I dug in my big plastic bin of summer shoes to grab a pair of sandals to celebrate the warm weather. In it, I found two more pairs of shoes that I had forgotten I owned. WOW! Within a week, I had found five pairs of shoes. Just as I was lamenting that I didn’t have enough money to raid the latest Payless BOGO (buy one, get one 50% off) sale and indulge in their new eco-friendly line, I discover 5 new pairs of shoes. How fortunate? Am I fortunate?

I suppose I am fortunate because some people don’t have any shoes. But then again, maybe I am a bit unfortunate. Don’t laugh. The people who work at Payless have to eat too.

The Shoe Count:

12 pairs of boots: 3 leather-esque knee high; 3 pairs of faux Uggs; 1 pair of wellies; 2 pairs of ankle boots; 1 pair of Timberlands; 1 pair of snow boots; and 1 pair of faux suede boots. (And I still want the quintessential pair equestrian boots.)

11 pairs of flats: 2 lace-up oxfords; 4 pairs of nursing clogs/faux Crocs; 1 pair of patent leopard print peep toe; 1 pair of pink pointy toe; 2 ballet flats; and 1 pair of UNC blue sneaker mules

6 pairs of sneakers: 2 pairs of trainers; 1 ath-leisure; and 3 pairs of “skips” (and planning to buy 2 more!).

6 pairs of heels: 1 red; 1 camel; 2 black; and 1 stripper pair (6 inch heels!)

13 pairs of sandals: 1 novelty pair; 2 heeled; 1 wedge; 2 Birkenstocks; 5 flat pairs; 1 flip-flop; and 1 gladiator (which I’m looking to update)

Wow, that’s damn near 60 pairs and I’m not even counting my “house shoes.” Boy, I was off in my original estimation. Perhaps it is time for me to chill. Do I really need more? No. Do I really want more? HELL YES!

Mood:  chatty

In 1999, the release of the Matrix pushed up the start of the blockbuster summer movie season to the beginning of May instead of Memorial Day weekend. So, in about two weeks it will be summer movie time although the weather in New York will still be very much fall like. However, to hell with temperatures. I'm ready for my Summer Blockbusters. Below I've made a list of the movies I can't wait to see in the theaters. Chime in and let me know what you're waiting to see.

X-Men Origins:Wolverine: featuring my favorite film and stage honey Hugh Jackman and Liev Schreiber, whom my intellect finds sexy.

Star Trek: Because they’re taking a chance with the franchise and the trailer looked hot. Not to mention, I love the Details magazine coverline “Eric Bana Makes Capt. Kirk His Bitch.” (In my heart, I’ve always been a sci-fi movie/Star Trek freak.)

Terminator Salvation: Because I love Christian Bale, and I’ve seen all of the Terminator movies. I’ve grown up with the franchise, but I still might wait until video.

Up: I love Pixar movies, and I really liked the trailer. Finally, I have two small kids and they need to see some summer movies too. (Induct them early into my favorite pastime.)

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: One of my favorite Harry Potter books, and I’m hoping it will be my favorite Harry Potter movies. I’ll probably rent this one, though.

Maybe-Maybe Not in the Theater:

Funny People: It’s written and directed by Judd Apatow who made two of the funniest movies this decade. It has a cast I absolutely adore—Adam Sandler, Eric Bana, Seth Rogen, and Jason Schwartzman. The trailer is funny as all get out. I think Adam Sandler is brilliant when he is in a semi-serious role, and I don’t think Judd Apatow hasn’t peaked yet.

Public Enemies: It’s directed by Michael Mann, who hasn’t  made a  movie I’ve connected with since Manhunter starring CSI’s William Peterson. His movies should be good and I usually watch them to the end, like Miami Vice, Heat, and Collateral, but I’m always left cold. Not to mention, the film’s trailer reminds me too much of The Untouchables (one of my favorite gangster movies of all times) and Bonnie and Clyde. But, it does star Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, and the severely underrated Billy Crudup. (I watched Almost Famous for the first time this year, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of Billy Crudup. I didn’t want to watch a scene unless he was in it. I kept asking myself, who is this actor? When I saw his name in the trailer, I was like “of course.”)

Movies I’m Guaranteeing Will Suck:

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen will suck because the first one was horrid, so the sequel is guaranteed to be worst.

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra because I’m sick of movies made from cartoons from my youth. I hope it is good, but I think it might suck because the director isn’t that great.

Mood:  chillin'

Jessica London

Easy-to-wear skirt with a row of goldtone buttons down the front. Buttoned patch pockets. Side zip. Imported.

Mood:  irritated

attrition

 1 [Middle English attricioun, from Medieval Latin attrition-, attritio, from Latin] : sorrow for one's sins that arises from a motive other than that of the love of God

2: the act of rubbing together : friction ; also : the act of wearing or grinding down by friction

3: the act of weakening or exhausting by constant harassment, abuse, or attack <a war of attrition>

4: a reduction in numbers usually as a result of resignation, retirement, or death <a company with a high rate of attrition>

---

My faithful readers, Moi apologizes for not blogging much since the Oscars since it looked like I was on a tear for much of January and February. I've been quite distracted with the Rihanna and Chris Brown relationship and the proposed budget cuts in New York City. As you may remember, I'm a librarian at one of the public libraries. I'm also about to become the mother of a pre-schooler (starting in September), so cuts to libraries and schools effect me very personally and not in a rhetorically way.

See our local news station reports about the Mayor's proposed budget cuts. (I think it is quite funny that they chose an upwardly mobile white woman who lives in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in New York City to complain about the possible cuts of service. Probably because Black, Hispanic, Latino, Asian, and older white people don't have as much political pull. Okay, I'll stop pulling the race card for now.)

I did become less queasy about Rihanna and Chris Brown yesterday after watching Extra (my new guilty pleasure) last night. They television tab reported that the reported duet Chris and Rihanna were working on together had been recorded months ago. They also reported that the couple are no longer together, and that Rihanna has been out and about on the town without her alleged abuser. Let's hope she gets the help she needs and doesn't go back to him. *sigh*

Mood:  smelly

The Christian inspirational website for women is hosting a a nail polish giveaway. Since I like getting things for free and sharing good news, I'm posting a link to Roof With A View. RWAV will be giving away OPI  nail polish: "You're Such A Kabuki Queen" (a tulip pink color) and "Are We There Yet?" (a quick drying pale pink).

Mood:  down

**Editor's Note: Last night when I started this post, it was simply gray outside. As I finish it today, NYC got at least a foot of snowfall. As I trudged in to work, I had to slosh through the wet heavy stuff with the wind blowing flakes directly into my eyes. So, I'm now officially over with winter. --Kiki**  

If you’re like me, you’re absolutely sick of the winter—the below freezing temps, the black ice, the more than brisk winds, the grey and snowy days. ICK! It is wrecking havoc on my mood, on my children’s moods, and my cat’s moods. My cat is all cranky and keeps attacking my ankles. When I open the door, she cowers by the doorjamb in hopes of getting a whiff of spring but she runs into the house when the wind bristles her orange and brown fur. My daughters and I are out of craft ideas, and are sick of watching the same five episodes of Dora the Explorer and Handy Manny. They want to run outside with abandon without layering. (And personally, I do too. I just want to open the door and shout “to the park” with no other preparation than grabbing $3 for the Mr. Softee truck.)

Finally, there’s your beloved Moi with her skin as scaly as a dragon with eczema and the mood to match. All I want to do is crawl under my blankets, turn off the lights, and watch Lifetime movies all day until Easter Sunday. Luckily, a higher dose of antidepressants and active preschoolers keep me from that type of hibernation. So, I’ve found some alternatives. Hopefully, it will pull you through the final six weeks or so of winter.

Books:
If there is a budding artist, make-up or fine, inside of you, I suggest picking up a copy of Eye Candy by Linda Mason. The subtitle suggests that this book will give you 55 easy makeup looks for glam lids and luscious lashes. It does not disappoint! There is a cornucopia of bright, glittery, and colorful eye shadow designs that is more appropriate for a night on the stage than at work. If you’re feeling really bored and brave, try one of these outrageous styles and then go to the laundry mat!

Food:
Nothing says comfort food like mac-n-cheese and chicken soup. For a more modern and filling version of these old classics, let me suggest the hearty Campbell's Chunky Healthy Request Classic Chicken Noodle Soup which has chunks of chicken the size of a small die! Also, Kraft Easy Mac Macaroni and Cheese Dinner is better than the add milk original of the easy boxed mac-n-cheese.

Beauty:
You can also spend your cold days inside giving yourself at-home mani-pedis. With a $1 off coupon from the newspaper, I was able to get a new bottle of Revlon nail polish in the new shade Fuchsia Fever that

reads a hot pink in the bottle and on my nails. My tax refund allowed me to indulge a little bit, so I was also able to pick up my favorite quick dry solution—OPI’s Drip Dry that dries and hardens your manis in less than a minute! Finally, if you can spare the $7, you must invest in Sally Hansen’s JUST FEET Cracked Heel Repair Crème (which also works with dried-out hands).

Mood:  caffeinated

Growing up in the 1970s and early 1980s, my family had one black and white television. We had basic television—the three major networks, a couple of public broadcast channels, and two local channels. In other words, when there wasn’t shit to watch, their really wasn’t shit to watch. We also participated in every (U.S.) culturally televised events—The Super Bowl, the World Series, The Oscars, The Tonys, and the Grammys. We watched because there wasn’t anything else to hold our attention.

As a child, watching the Oscars were deadly boring. (Even more so than the Tonys because at least they had singing and dancing!) There were long and pretentious speeches; actors I didn’t know; movies I was too young to see; and they ended long after I had to be asleep. (They used to come on a “school night.”) As an adult, I love all the pre- and post- Oscar hoopla. I love the dresses, the tuxes, the gossip, the gowns, and red carpet interviews/sniping. (I miss Joan Rivers!) However, I don’t watch the actual show. The last time I watched the beginning of the Oscars, I believe Billy Crystal hosted and Tim Robbins won Best supporting actor for Mystic River (I turned it off from there). The last time I watched the end of the Oscars (not to the end, I just turned it on at 11 p.m.), Adrien Brody (whom I had been rooting for) had won the best actor Oscar for The Pianist.

This year’s Oscar was the most entertaining and engaging Academy Awards Ceremony I’ve seen in a long time. I’m not a fan of doing things just for tradition’s sake, so I’m pleased with tonight’s risks. Hugh Jackman’s recession-themed opening song-n-dance was funny, and the audience seemed pleased with it. (He really is an affable & charming chap, isn’t he?) Tiny Fey and Steve Martin presenting all of the writing awards by reading parts of the script, brilliant! Teen heartthrob Robert Pattison introducing an overview of the years’ cinema romance movies, inspired! So far, you’ve brought in young gays, young geeks, and young girls to an otherwise normally “old folks” only celebration. It is also moving at quite a quick but not quite rushed clip. (Yes, I love the images in movies as much as the next person but I don’t care who the art director is and who he is thanking. They’re presenting for cinematography now, which is allowing me to type this.)

By 10:30 p.m. EST, I found that the ceremony slowed down a bit and was laden with commercial interruption that created faux anticipation. (Were you surprised by any of the winners? I was not.) The show still went over time and seemed rushed by a quarter to midnight. This wasn't Hugh's fault. I did appreciate that producers of the show tried to shake things up. I give the show A for effort and B- for execution. 

Fashion-wise, I’m finding the dresses a little blah and safe. Perhaps it is in honor of the recession, but all of the cream, ivory, light mint, light grey dresses are boring and putting me to sleep. Thus far, the young lady for Slumdug Millionaire, Frieda Pinto, is my vote for best dressed in a vibrant blue number. The 1st runner-up is Kate Winslet in a flattering dark sliver gown with a black (velvet?) shoulder and cummerbund. For best dressed male, eff it, I’ll give it to Mickey Rouke because it the least sweaty and unkempt I’ve seen him all awards season. Alicia Keys raspberry sorbet dress was a great breath of fresh air among the sea of drab colors. Last year's best actress winner,Marion Cotillard, was a midnight blue vision in a sparkly dress cinched in at the waist with a wide black belt.It was simple and elegant.

The accessories were beautiful and eye-catching. Amy Adams and Taraji P. Henson's chokers were stunning. Angelina Jolie's emerald drop earrings and matching ring were unique and flattering. Have you noticed that Meryl Streep has been rocking ethnic jewelry to most of her fancy

events. That's her thing and she's sticking with it, I like it. Sophia Loren's cleavage is descriptionless. I hope to be able to stick mine up and out as far as she does when I hit that age.

And finally, on an “I-can’t-believe-I’m-this-old” note: Sean Penn has crow’s feet and grey temples? Mickey Rouke is slightly-bloated and cranky with a receding hairline? I remember when I was a tween and a teen, these guys (along with Richard Gere) made up my bad boys to f**k list.

Mood:  irritated

Yours truly, Ms. Kiki, has never been in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship. I have never had a man hit me or threaten to hit me even when I was a high school rough neck taunting one of my mortal boy enemies. I don’t know what it is to be a victim like that, but I do know a handful of girls/women who have been. My hearts go out to them. As I’ve become a mother to two daughters, my stomach boils with anger whenever I hear about child abuse, domestic violence, or relationship abuse on the news. I would like to believe that my husband and I will raise our girls with enough self-esteem, self-awareness, and self-defense skills to not get caught up in one of these relationships, but I can’t predict the future.

I dislike teenage boys who grab on girls’ arms, butts, or hair like it is public property or some weird form of caveman flirting. I loathe men who hit women. I hate men who rape or beat little children or women. They are beneath the dog shit on the ground. I wouldn’t spit on an abuser if he was burning in my living room, and I believe myself to be a generous and kind-hearted Christian.

Nearly two years ago at work, I got between a young man who was accosting a young woman. When I asked her if she wanted to go with that man, she said “no.” I wrapped by big plus-size body around her frail little body and proceeded to drag her away from him. He, also a skinny little punk, grabbed her bag and wouldn’t let go. I witness before God that I used all my strength to pull that girl into my building with that asshole hanging on. This whole time, no more then ten minutes, nobody tried to intervene or help. I yelled at a passerby to call the cops on his cell phone because the girl didn’t want to with this boy. Once he confirmed that, he started to dial. It was then that the boy let her go. (Punk ass.) Eventually, we got inside of my job and waited for the police. I saw that she had a busted lip and a hospital bracelet on her wrist—she was released that morning from a beating he had given her the night before.

As we waited for the police, I called a domestic violence shelter that agreed to take the women in. (She was homeless, had not family in this city, and was living with her boyfriend because she had no where else to go. The welfare agency was working with her to get her section 8 housing and vocational classes—her going to school was the cause of this most recent fight.) Long story short, a few weeks later she came back to the library looking for me. She thanked the safety officers who had helped her, and wanted to thank me. She knew she was in a bad situation, but she didn’t know how bad until someone intervened to help her.

That’s what we need people. We need more people to risk reputation or a few cuts and bruises to protect those who are getting their asses beat by weak men. If someone would ever put their hands on my daughters and I wasn’t there, I hope to God someone would try to help them.

This whole post is a reaction to the alleged beating of Rihanna by R&B singer Chris Brown. It’s been a stone laying heavily in my stomach for the past two weeks. I’ve been hearing all sorts of rumors justifying this beat down, like she gave him an STD or that she slapped him first for cheating with another girl or that they were drunk/high. PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, there is no justification ever for abusing someone you love. If you’re in an abusive relationship, get out even if that means sneaking out the window in your underwear. If you’re abusing someone, go get help.

Assistance:

http://www.ndvh.org/

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm

Help, Treatment, Intervention, and Prevention

If you live with someone who abuses you or if someone is stalking you, you need to take immediate measures to protect yourself. You’re in extra danger if your abuser or stalker talks about murder or suicide. You’re also in particular danger if you are thinking about leaving an abusive relationship.

• Know your abuser’s red flags. Be on alert for signs and clues that your abuser is getting upset and may explode in anger or violence. Come up with several believable reasons you can use to leave the house (both during the day and at night) if you sense trouble brewing.
• Identify safe areas of the house. Know where to go if your abuser attacks or an argument starts. Avoid small, enclosed spaces without exits (such as closets or bathrooms) or rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen). If possible, head for a room with a phone and an outside door or window.
• Be prepared to leave at a moment’s notice. Keep the car fueled up and facing the driveway exit, with the driver’s door unlocked. Hide a spare car key where you can get it quickly. Have emergency cash, clothing, and important phone numbers and documents stashed in a safe place (at a friend’s house, for example).
• Practice escaping quickly and safely. Rehearse your escape plan so you know exactly what to do if under attack from your abuser. If you have children, have them practice the escape plan also.
• Come up with a code word. Establish a word, phrase, or signal you can use to let your children, friends, neighbors, or co-workers know that you’re in danger and the police should be called.
• Make and memorize a list of emergency contacts. Ask several trusted individuals if you can contact them if you need a ride, a place to stay, or help contacting the police. Memorize the numbers of your emergency contacts, local shelter, and domestic violence hotline.
• Keep change and cash on you at all times. Know where the nearest public phone is located, and have change available so you can use it in an emergency situation to call for help. Also try to keep cash on hand for cab fare.

Additionally, to keep yourself safe from domestic abuse and violence you should document all abuse. If you’ve been injured, take photographs. If you have been abused in front of others, ask witnesses to write down what they saw. Finally, don’t hesitate to call the police if your abuser has hurt you or broken the law. Contact the police even if you just think your abuser might have broken a law. Assaulting you, stealing from you, and destroying your property are all crimes.

Domestic Violence Escape Kit

• Money for cab fare
• A change of clothes
• Extra house and car keys
• Birth certificates
• Driver’s license or passport
• Medications and copies of prescriptions
• Insurance information
• Checkbook
• Credit cards
• Legal documents such as separation agreements and protection orders
• Address books
• Valuable jewelry
• Papers that show jointly owned assets

Conceal it in the home or leave it with a trusted neighbor, friend, or relative. Important papers can also be left in a bank deposit box.

Source: U.S. Department of Agriculture, Domestic Violence Awareness Handbook

Do not feel falsely secure with a restraining order!

You are not necessarily safe if you have a restraining order or protection order. The stalker or abuser may ignore it, and the police may do nothing to enforce it. To learn about restraining orders in your area, call 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or contact your state's Domestic Violence Coalition.