Now Playing: BET's Walk the Faith
On Sunday morning, BET aired a show called Meet the Faith which is a weekly talk show. I watched it because there was going to be a discussion on overweight black women and their positive self-image. The three guests were controversial Thomas Lopez-Pierre, the social director of the Harlem Club, plus-size model Toccara, and author and spiritual adviser Iyanla Vanzant. What could have been a thoughtful conversation turned into a shouting fest where nothing useful or positive or intelligent was said. I like Toccara for being pro-big women, but the girl is about as smart as a bag of rocks. Putting Lopez-Pierre was just an excuse to have a dubious target. (It has been widely documented in the mediathat this upper-class Black man is a chauvinist and believes in a very outdated/colorist notion of Black female beauty.) The conversation then turned to the topic of upper-middle class and upper-class Black women aggressively pursuing men outside of their race, since it is very difficult for them to find a black men who is on the same educational and professional level as them. Even less useful things were said, and basically ended with Iyanla shouting "But what's your of Black?"
Well...Here's my two cents.
1-cent. I have no problems with men or women entering into relationships with people of other races. I don't believe interracial relationships should be pursued out of a need to satisfy a fetish or ; to make "pretty light-skin" babies; to have children with "nice" hair; to leach off the opposite races' supposed advantages; and out off self-racial/ethnic hate.
I believe that each ethnic race or nationality has its own attributes of beauty that can be appreciated from someone outside of that race. Deep down, pheromones recognizes other pheromones. If social, religious, or familial constraints forces a person to stay within their own race, I think that is okay and not necessarily racist. A Catholic who prefers to marry a Catholic is not necessarily anti-Semite. Romantic relationships are tough enough without adding cultural differences to the mix. However, if a couple has the guts for it, then go for it. I'm not hating.
2-cents: Being overweight or fat or chubby or plump or even slightly obese does not necessarily make a person unhealthy, irresponsible, a glutton or unattractive. According to the weight charts, I am obese at 180 lbs on a 5'4" frame but ask my doctor about the results of my last physical.
My sugar-levels are fine; my cholesterol levels are low; my EKG results were excellent; and my blood pressure is in normal range (squarely not barely in normal range). I do have fair to poor lung capacity, but that is only because I am a lifelong asthmatic. My bones or my joints or my muscles don't ache from carrying this weight. Yet, as soon as someone would hear my weight, they would automatically assume that I am unhealthy. Studies have proven that a naturally slender person with a sedentary lifestyle is more unhealthy than an overweight person with an active lifestyle. In the end, weight really doesn't add up to all that much.
There are thousands of reasons that people are overweight that have nothing to do with not pushing themselves from the table. Many women, including myself, have a hormonal condition called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), which causes uncontrollable weight gain. Thyroid problems can also cause people to be overweight. Not having access, due to your neighborhood or salary, to healthy food options, a gym, or affordable health care can all be factors. Suffering from undiagnosed depression or taking certain types of medication for depression or arthritis can also make one overweight. It isn't just about gluttony.
It is true that African-American and Caribbean men find beauty in women who are over a size 14. But as my brother would say: "you can be fat but you can't be sloppy with it." Meaning, you have to take care of yourself from the inside out and not walk around like a self-pitying mess. And as I say, Black women got too much other shit to worry about in this country then to obsess over then their weight.