No More Comic Book Movies, Please
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: The Fantastic Four
Topic: Movie Reviews
The Fantastic Four opens today nationwide. As soon as I had heard they were making a movie based on the FF comic book, I groaned. I remember the ill-fated one from the late 80s/early 90s that is only availble on bootleg. It sucked and I'm sure this one does too. Actually, if you read the New York Times Review you'll have proof that it sucks.

We've had X-men, Spider-Man, the Hulk, Batman, Superman (and Superman again coming soon!), the Punisher (two versions that were both awful), Blade (first two kicked serious ass and I could watch the first one non-stop), Elektra (*groan*), Daredevil (*double groan*), Constantine, and Sin City (which I actually want to see for the animation/flimmaking style although I've pretty much come to the conclusion that Robert Rodriguez is a mediocore filmmaker). Can we stop right there? How many more comic books have to be ruined because of the movie franchises they spawned.

(Wait, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, but X-Men and X-2 and Spider-Man and Spider-Man were good movies. Batman Begins was really good and Super-man 2 with General Zod is legendary. This is true. All those movies were really good, but... Rumor has it that X-3 will be directed by Brett Ratner. A music video director? Who did Rush Hour 1 and 2 and the soulless Manhunter-remake Red Dragon? Gimme a break. The X-men are much deeper than that of a director whose movies are as shallow as a puddle.)

Spider-Man 3 may be good, but lets just wait. Remember Batman #3, Superman #3 with Richard Pryor, or how about Star Trek 3? The third sequel in anything is guaranteed to be bad. Just ask Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers. The Michael Keaton Batman movie that produced three more sequels pretty much destroyed the franchise that was only saved by darker, better written, and better acted animated series.)

Maybe it's my geek side coming out but I wish they would stop using comic books and popular novels to make movies. The writers' union should rise up and force Hollywood to come up with movies that have original plots.

But...

Not until they make...

A movie based on the comic book Preacher starring...well...that will have to be another post. And a movie based on The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay starring Adrien Brody as the Amazing Kavalier and the guy who plays Michael Novotony from Queer as Folk as Sammy Clay (or maybe Shia LeBeouf or Tim Roth). Susan Silverman or the girl from Welcome to the Dollhouse should play Rosa--Kavalier's squeeze.

More casting posts to follow in the future.

Ahem...

I'll post more on this topic in the futre I'm sure...